Wicked Goddesses

This week, I'm recommending a story that is chock full of fuckery. It's also 95% angst free and guaranteed to make you laugh like a loon!

Nine Twilives by Sinvisigoth

Summary:  A girl, her cat and one damned sexy vampire. Bella is kidnapped for the most bizarre reason possible, channels Forrest Gump, sings Blue Grass, pees in a bucket and bumps into Peter. And damn he has nice pecs.

I stumbled across this gem as soon as the first chapter was posted. Sinvisigoth had me at, "Personal log. Startdate: Fuckday the Fourth. Time and place: Unknown. Status: Wet, cold, single, with an aching heart, and pissed off. Really, dreadfully pissed off."

 Bella has been kidnapped by vampire pirates. A kidnapping she admits she is somewhat at fault for. 

Never the less, she is handling her situation as anybody with a lick of sense and a serious lack of nicotine would. She's trying her damndest to annoy them into releasing her. After all, any sane person can only listen to so many horrid blue grass tunes sung in note Daffy Duck before disposing of the nuisance. Unfortunately for her, these vampires aren't exactly the dimmest of the bunch. They realize what she's doing and instead of just tossing her overboard or dropping her at port, they silence her with a giant jockstrap.

Now enter the bizarre conversations with her cat Fat-Butt, which are an entity all their own, and Peter whom is all sorts of awkward. These two things are where the humor can be found in this story. I'll admit that we don't exactly have any plot progression since this is just mainly for shits and giggles... but hilarity does ensue. It's definitely a cure for the beginning of the workweek blues.