Sister Site Saturday

From our sister site Granger Enchanted, Michelle Amethyst recommends

Blood Debt by Solas_Divided 

Summary: She owed him. He wanted blood.

That's it folks. Intriguing, no?

I will freely admit that I find most non-canon pairings an enthusiastic read (mainly cause I think Ron in canon was a douche that never deserved Hermione) so when I came across this little gem I was excited to read a pairing that isn’t as popular as it should be. Cormac McLaggen and Hermione Granger. It’s an odd pairing if you live and die by canon, but since I don’t, I quite happily read the story and was deliriously happy that I did. It will forever be the fic that turned me on to Cormac as a leading man (in more ways than one). Even the summary had me shivering in delight and grinning in anticipation.

When I began to read the first chapter I was struck with confusion but was amazed how a seemingly unwanted encounter between Cormac and Hermione could be so action and lust packed with no apparent reason. Hot as hell in a weird way, Hermione trapped in an alley with Cormac who is touching her and demanding payback from an event that is not explained. Intriguing my dear readers, intriguing.

Solas_Divided takes us on a trip back and forth five years, reminiscing about a year at Hogwarts that I sincerely wish was canon. The time skips are not confusing, to which I attribute to the authors talent, and with each glimpse of the past the story takes on more and more excitement, romance and lust. To see Hermione loosen up and allow a sexily described Cormac dominate her even a little bit will have you searching your drawers for some fresh panties. Le sigh.

The past in this story is hot, exciting and a complete 180 from the present but muddle through it
readers, it will be worth it I pinky promise. Don’t let the fact that Ron is her (blehhh! Sorry I just threw up a little in my mouth) husband in the present deter you from finishing this fantastic work of fan fiction. You will start to see the absurdity of their marriage just as Hermione does and that’s when the fun begins. Take this excerpt for instance, set in the ‘present’ after the alley run in between our leads:

“Maybe you haven’t noticed, but this is the women’s washroom!”

He smirked cuttingly. “I don’t recall you minding so much when I fucked you up against one of the stalls back in Hogwarts.”

Ignoring the heat crawling up her body at the vulgar words and vivid memory, Hermione replied, “That was a long time ago!”

“You don’t love him,” His abrupt change of topic startled her. “He doesn’t love you.”

She struggled against his hold, staggering slightly when he suddenly let go. “You don’t know that!”

“You know I do.”

She did know, but she refused to let him know that. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

“Because you know I can’t!” he snarled, grabbing her arms and shaking her. “Don’t you think I haven’t tried? Do you think I like being in love with a person who would so carelessly wish to love another? You have no idea how much I…” He suddenly shoved her away. “Forget it. Go back to your worthless husband and your worthless life. Your time is almost up anyway, so enjoy it while it lasts!”
See? Fun!!!

I love Solas_Divided as she has generously contributed some of my favorite short stories and one-shots on Granger Enchanted, but I rank this story as one of my absolute favorites from her and the absolute best for the pairing of Cormac and Hermione that I have read on any site. High praise from a nit-picking bitch like myself.

So my hat is off to you darlin’, I love you and your work and I hope that you come out with another
Cormac/Hermione fic (is shameless begging unattractive? Eh, whatever) so that I may enjoy that one like I’ve enjoyed this one.

Take a looksie my friends, ‘Blood Debt’ is complete and ready for your perusal and approval. G’daymateys!

Crossover Friday

Since our dear Banana Flavored Eskimo is still sick (poor thing), this is Deep and Devastating covering her segment for the week. And I'm here to tell y'all about a crossover that was recommended to me by one of my readers.

The story I never wanted by Aoibhinn

Summary: I, Bella Swan, didn't get a happy ending. I got 500 years as an immortal and now they want me to escort a small person to destroy a ring of power. Why not? it's not like I'm doing much else with the rest of my eternity. 

So, when I received the link for this story... I wasn't that interested in checking it out because I just didn't understand how in the hell Twilight and Lord of the Rings would ever make a decent crossover. Middle Earth and Vampires mixing? Come on! The idea is simply absurd.

But never the less, my official policy is to reserve judgment until I've at least given the idea a chance. So I did and I've been hooked since. This is seriously one of those stories that I drop everything for when an update rolls around.

We start out with a prologue. But this isn't just any prologue, its the prologue to end all prologues. Bella is just... sarcastic. She starts out telling us about herself, "Change. Growth. Mutated. Morphed. All these words pretty much mean the same thing, yet I don't like using any of them. None seem strong enough or long enough or complex enough to label why I am the way I am. Not to be narcissistic, but before we begin I need to explain a bit. Once you get to know me, you understand I wasn't born this way. I hope to God no one can be born the way I am now. Like some people would put it, I have layers. A hell of a lot more layers than when I got started."

From there, she elaborates on her family, the Cullens, and life post- Edward abandonment. And it is done in such a way that you are stuck somewhere between wanting to cringe at her blunt words and laugh at her odd descriptions. That is, until we come to the situation Bella found herself in at the latter half of the prologue. Then you just want to cry because it's incredibly heartbreaking even if it helps you gain a deeper understanding of her supposed layers.

Now lets fastforward 500 years into the future.

Bella's snark has grown by leaps and bounds. She's somehow  managed to contract what I'm sure is a form of Vampire ADD. She's also a trained, albeit unwilling, warrior of the Volturi. And Jacob is at her side annoying her with his not-so-talented renditions of classic rock legends. 

Sure, those things by themselves ensure that there is some form of hilarity to be found in the future chapters... but humor is not the only thing this story contains. It also has an amazingly well thought out plot. I never thought I would see the day where these two story realms could ever be meshed together in a plausible manner, but Aiobhinn manages to accomplish the impossible.

Not only does she manage to send Twilight characters into the realm of Lord of the Rings, but she manages to do so by creating an elaborate back story for the creation of vampires. One that actually makes so much sense its scary.

Of course, their creation also lands them a one way ticket to the Rivendell Council meeting and Middle Earth according to "Mr. Blue".

Now.. picture this scenario. Aro and his mate, Caius and his mate, the Cullens, Bella, Jacob, Jane, Felix, and a number of other Volturi Guard being transported to various places in a foreign world by Mr. Blue.

If that doesn't spell trouble, I don't know what does.

I'm not going to go into detail about what happens during this super secret council meeting or anything after, but suffice it to say that Bella is completely out of her element. Not only is she surrounded by beautiful people/elves which seriously screw up her attention span, she also has power-hungry Aro and his little lackeys to contend with as well.

Basically if it ever comes to blows between the people of Middle Earth and a sadistic Aro, Bella puts it best. 

"Alright, folks. Time for a weapons check. The twins, along with Glorfindel (no idea when he showed up…probably jumped down from whatever tree he had been climbing) who was at my right and another blonde elf (very yummy…mmmm…enough with the melting, Bella!) by Glorfindel, all had out their archery sets aimed at various points. Mysterious-man and another human male (this one with golden brown hair, shinier blue eyes, and heftier built…again, worthy of distraction) had their hands at their swords.

Oh, and one of the short people (the taller one with a long, red beard eating up most of his face) had a tricked-out axe raised.

Arrows, axes, and swords. Archaic choices. Respectable and effective if one knew how to use them properly. Sadly, virtually useless against a small horde of insulted vampires.

Yeah, if the you-know-what hit the fan. Guess who will be the one defending basically everyone?"

And I will leave you with that little snippet and say no more because you should give it a read yourself. You'll be surprised at the wonderful characters, interactions, and plot Aiobhinn has managed to create. Quite honestly, this story is one of those rare gems I've discovered in the fanfic world. It deserves many more reviews than the 92 it has managed to receive.

~Deep and Devastating~

Ultima Ratio by Winterblume

Summary: Ultima ratio - the last resort. At last the day of the Final Battle against Lord Voldemort has come. Harry, Ron and Hermione fight bravely against their nemesis - but then something goes wrong. And Hermione finds herself alone in a precarious situation.

For our first Harry Potter Rec, we Goddesses couldn't make up our minds which story to choose because we love them all. In the end, we chose one of the most epic work in progress fics out there. At 675K+ words, this is by far the longest and most detailed fic any of us have come across. And not only does it feature our favorite girl, Hermione, but it also features a delicious Tom Riddle.

Yeah... You read that right. Tom Riddle. As in Lord Voldemort. 

You see, in Ultima Ratio, our muggleborn gets herself tangled up with the most vile, cruel, and dark wizard ever known.

Creepy? Maybe.

Strange? Perhaps

Dark and Sexy? Fuck yes.

So, now... here are our opinions on the aforementioned mind-fuck.

((((Note: Banana Flavored Eskimo is still extremely sick, so she was not able to get her review done. Please keep her in your prayers.))))

~Deep and Devastating~

From the beginning this story is a one of a kind read. I personally found the first chapter chilling as Voldemort seems to accomplish the impossible by fooling/defeating Harry in such a unique and plausible manner. I loved the thought put behind each and every part of this chapter. Ultimately it ended up being heartbreaking and incredibly exciting all at the same time.

Honestly... how many authors are capable of making you sit upon the edge of your seat, crazy with anticipation, while your wiping away the tears in your eyes?

Anyways, what really did it for me in the chapter was how Voldemort's actions immediately took me back to the body possession at the Ministry of Magic back in Order of the Phoenix. So many 'what if?' questions popped into my head. What if Harry hadn't of been able to push Voldemort out? What would have happened in the war then? What if he had learned to develop Occulemency better?..etc, etc.

I love when Authors bring me back to a point in canon and make me think of all the possible ways things could have gone differently. So I obviously immediately began to read faster. I wanted to reach the later chapters because I was wondering what other subtle details Winterblume had noticed in canon and managed to twist to her advantage.

Let me tell you, she doesn't disappoint. 

However, I refuse to tell you as finding those sorts of things is like a treasure hunt. To me anyways.

Over all, I truly enjoyed this story. It's well worth devoting the time to reading. It is a bit angsty at times, but the super awesome action sequences definitely make up for those moments. It was especially a great read because Winterblume manages to create an original time travel scene as well as an awe inspiringly detailed plot-line. There are very few authors who can claim that they put as much hard work and thought into their stories to ensure that they are unique.

The only downfall I found to this story was that the author's spelling/grammar went lax at times. It was obvious that she posted without taking the time to re-read her chapters and correct mistakes.

~Keelhaulrose~

First off, I'd like to say that I have not yet managed to work my way through all of Ultima Ratio. I have skimmed it, but the chapters are long (which I think is a bonus in every aspect other than my cell phone doesn't let me read more than 5,000 words per chapter because I think I'm the last person on earth without a smart phone) and as a mom, employee, and the main cleaning and cooking bitch of the household I don't have much time to sit and read long stories. It's not complete yet, either, and something people will quickly realize about me is that I hardly ever reading a story that isn't complete, because once I get into a story is usually the time the author decides to go on a super-extended vacation to Tahiti or something and never update again. However, the author seems to be updating regularly, so the chances of this one actually getting done at some point or another are quite high. 

And I love finished stories.

From what I have read of the story it is a very interesting story. I will never claim to be a fan of Hermione/Tom Riddle Jr. pairings, and I love Hermione with just about anyone as she's my girl-crush, but this one works out well and realistically. There's no scene at the very start where Hermione proclaims her undying love for he-who-will-become-he-who-must-not-be-named, it seems like quite the opposite. 

She travels back in time, remembers that Tom Riddle turns into a total douche that makes the guys on Jersey Shore seem like the type to bring home to dad, and gives him the cold shoulder without throwing an Avada at his head. 

It is a romance, however, so something does start to blossom, which is very much in-character for Hermione. Another good point about this story, it keeps everyone as in-character as possible considering where the story is going. Things don't happen in the blink of an eye, however I do find it a little lengthy. Things don't move too fast, but they do seem to drag a little at points. Details are explored, and while that is great, sometimes details can be skipped over and it doesn't detract from the story. The story also makes the reader take a good long think of what life must have been like at Hogwarts before Tom Riddle officially changed his name.

The down and dirty of it is that Ultima Ratio is worth a read.

~Michelle Amethyst~

Ultima Ratio written by the talented Winterblume is one of the most thought out fics I’ve read in a long time. Her plot is complex and rich in details that should never be overlooked, as they seem to crop upat different points in her story and things just click into place and you have an “Aha!” moment. I love reading stories where its abundantly clear that the author put a lot of effort, time and thought into their work. Winterblume gives a reader everything one could as for: danger, intrigue, romance, blood, power and conflict. The story is also one of the longest I’ve ever encountered on the site (currently at 675,866 words and counting) and I’m a whore for wonderfully long fics (it saves me from running to the bookstore every week).

To say that I’m a sucker for a good Tom Riddle/Hermione fic is quite the understatement and I’ve seen this fic floating around the fandom and could not bring myself to read it (it shows signs of ending tragically and I hate when that happens) until my fellow goddesses asked that I put my reservations aside and review it. So I did. And here I am now, impressed with Winterblume’s talent and ability to write a story that fits into my favorite genre so well; adventure.

If anyone has read my fanfic profile page it clearly states that Im an action/adventure junkie with an abhorrence for angst. I also harbor a secret (not so secret now) love of fluffy fics. This story is no where near fluffy and there are moments of angst but in my mind that action makes up for it.

I enjoyed the story and was intrigued by the method of Hermione’s time travel. The idea behind it was original (wont say much on it- don’t wanna give anything away), if still a bit confusing, and it never hurts to be original. I loved Hermione’s clashes with her evil Household’s teacher, Professor Legifer (think wizarding home ec) and her internal rants about women’s rights. I also really liked Hermione’s unwavering goodness, even to students that had harmed her.

I still don’t know if I’m going to like the ending, and I still have a hard time wading through some of the uncertainty that Wonderblume has written in terms of Tom and Hermione’s relationship (there are certain things that seem impossible to come back from) but this story is definitely worth perusing if you in search of a well thought out, well played, long fic that has our Hermione in the sexy clutches of a potentially evil bastard.

How to Make a Bad Idea Worse: Part One by angelically-devilish

 

SUMMARY: Sexy little oneshot with Sirius Black and Hermione Granger. Smutty, smutty goodness ahead, so if you're not old enough, change the channel!

Full Title: How to Make a Bad Idea Worse: Motorcycles, Whiskey, and Karaoke

 

 

Stop right there. Seriously, take a read back on that. Motorcycles. Whiskey. And Karaoke.

Could life get much better?

Yes. Yes it could. All three of the above, plus one Sirius Black.

Excuse me, I need a personal moment.

Now, I suggested this story when this website was still in the womb for a group review, but I can hold the sexy goodness back no longer. Angelically-devilish is beyond a doubt one of my favorite authors, and not just because she can write a story to keep you warm even within ten feet of Sarah Palin while standing on the tundra of Alaska. When her works are not PWPs, she can actually spin a very intriguing story. The only negative thing I'll ever say about her is that she likes to torture us by keeping us waiting for updates. But we have spicy one-shots like this to keep us satisfied.

This is part one of a three-part bundle of deliciousness aka the 'How to Make a Bad Idea Worse' series. The sexual tension starts to build near the start of the story. Alone at the Burrow and enjoying a bit of free time, Hermione decides to do a little topless sunbathing. And while doing this the dialogue opens with one of my favorite opening lines:

'Nice tits, Granger.'

How could you not fall all over yourself with an opening line like that? It seems so patently Sirius. Which is strange because you really don't hear that much from Sirius throughout JKRs series. 

After some sexually charged banter back and forth (mostly from Sirius), the charming Mr. Black invites Hermione for a night on the town with Lupin, Tonks, Fred, George, Angelina, and Katie. And this sets itself up for one of the hottest moments in a fanfiction, the reason that this is the first fanfic I've ever added to my faves list.

Imagine this- you're on a motorcycle, flying high above England, Sirius Black directly behind you. And he knows how to use the throttle in all. the. right. ways. With some well-timed engine revs Sirius drives Hermione all the way to a big O. 

And women everywhere start looking for a Harley.

Now, while having drinks with this cast of characters would be a dream come true, there is little doubt that with a little persuasion plus a bit more whiskey, Hermione Granger would get up at a karaoke bar and start singing 'Fever'. I also wouldn't doubt that her flirting with other men would make her all the more desirable to Sirius. And I wouldn't doubt in the slightest that the sexual energy playing out the entire story would wind up in the climax (pun intended) in an alley outside said bar. But the ending- which I will not give away- will have you clicking so quickly to find Part Two that it's going to give your computer vertigo. And I assure you, parts two and three do not disappoint in their smutty goodness.

~Keelhaulrose~

 

 

There will be Blood by johnnyboy7

Summary: Edward Cullen,25,the son of a Chicago mob boss. He is second-in-command, cold and dangerous. Bella Swan,18,small town girl who has just enrolled as a freshman at Northwestern. A story about how love can survive in the cruelest of worlds.Very OCC.Rated M.

We Goddesses have to admit that for our very first Twilight group rec, there was quite a bit of debate over which story to choose. It was not nearly as intense as the one involving Harry Potter...but intense none the less. Devastating actually contemplated strangling her fellow Goddesses as story ideas were tossed around between the four of via PM and Messenger for a good three days without any unanimous decisions.

In the end, Eskimo won both Devastating and Michelle over to the darkness of canon coupling by slipping the two a few banana flavored eskimo pies and whispering sweet nothings into their ears.

So without further ado, we each give you our thoughts on the Twilight story that we chose to rec above all others. Unfortunately, our dear Eskimo is extremely sick with a virus she caught while out and about in Korea. In between paying her respects to the porcelain god and sleeping for the past three days, she managed to type up a relatively short review of a story she loves so much. Just know that no matter the length of the review, she recommended this story with the highest praise.

 ~Banana Flavored Eskimo~

I absolutely adored this story. It has such an intense plot. The way the author detailed each character was incredible. He was really able to get into the mindset of each person and create a story that was truly enthralling. I highly recommend this story. It's a fantastic read and brilliant news - there will be a sequel in the future.

~Deep and Devastating~

Alright, I'm the first person to admit that I hate, no I abhor, canon coupling in the fandom. I read fanfiction so that I can explore characters I already know by giving them new and original relationships or actions. And I don't believe the majority of canon stories do that. I hate how they are always the same. Either the author decides they want to retell Twilight using nearly the exact same scenes as Stephanie Meyer or they focus on the epic sex-scene black-out and life after the almost battle in Breaking Dawn. 

Why would I waste my time with that? I've read the Twilight Saga and I've read one or two stories focusing on the latter. Reading the same thing over and over just doesn't do it for me. At all. 

 Which is why it always comes as a great surprise when someone actually recommends a decent canon story to me. I think I have maybe come across ten of the Edward/Bella variety which have held my interest for more than five chapters.

Therefore, I'm willing to admit that I was very, very skeptical when Eskimo threw this story out into the pool of Twilight stories to Rec.  I had never heard anything (good or bad) about it and while intriguing, the summary didn't offer much insight either. But I'm not ashamed to admit that I was still curious after hearing her praise it so highly... so I skedaddled on over and gave it a peek. 

If the super long authors rant masquerading as a chapter hadn't of caught my interest, then the descriptive opening scene of the real first chapter- the prologue- sure as hell would have.

"Officer Jacob Black stood in the doorway and contemplated the huge pool of thick blood on the floor where Martin Langer was found. He turned and could see a similar pool where Tiffany Langer had lain. He pondered the extensive blood loss. It was a lot more than he was used to finding at shootings.

....

The blood was splattered on the furniture, on the carpet, on the white bed sheets, everywhere. The two pools had coagulated into a black and rusty-brown mass, which covered so much of the floor that the ambulance personnel had to walk through it, leaving tracks of footprints behind as they went around the house gathering evidence.

Black was wearing tennis shoes with pale blue booties over them. He let out a deep breath and the real crime scene investigation began.

There were only three people in the room, one was alive and two were dead.

The Langer's faces were blown off, making them unrecognizable and the whole room was a grave site, filled with a chilling air. Two technicians came into the bedroom, snapping photos and explaining scientific evidence like 'splatter distribution areas' and 'droplet velocity' but Black wasn't listening."

Yeah... what a way to start off a story. The visual I had was just.... no words could describe the blood encased scene I had created in my mind. It was so vivid that I've actually started contemplating whether or not I should start cutting down on watching television shows such as Bones, Criminal Minds, and CSI as well as horror movies. I must need to if I'm able to visualize something so grossly detailed.

Anyhoo, as soon as I read the prologue I realized that I was actually poised on the edge of my seat as I clicked the button for the next chapter. I was that damn excited about the potential this story held. No lie. The story line was so well developed, so original, and so intriguing that I read the entire fourty-four chapters plus two epilogues without stopping for anything more than the occasional potty or smoke break.

Now, as for my official review.

I'm not sure I can actually form adequate words to describe the story. I mean... I absolutely loved it. The author managed to bring something entirely different to the fandom. For example, Carlisle is a Mob Boss! Carlisle! If that isn't a deviation from canon, I don't know what is.

This is how Edward Jr. describes him, "It was strange to think of Carlisle as the head of any crime family because of his gentle nature. That's not to say that he hasn't killed a motherfucker or two but he only likes using violence when it's necessary."

That description just gives me all sorts of shivers. Though I'm not sure its whether the actual words or this mental image of Peter Facinelli that comes to mind.

That picture, to me, is what Mob Boss Carlisle would look like. Nuff said.

What I really love is that johnnyboy7 doesn't just throw us into the midst of this mafia scenario either. We actually get a well thought out back story that delves unimaginably deep into the life of mobsters. The scenes and scenarios created are awe inspiring. Really. All authors should aspire to write stories with such well developed plot and characters. That's one of the things I enjoyed most. I loved how we delved into the back story on Edward and his crime families personal interactions to develop good, solid characters before any of the good stuff started to happen.

I won't go into any further detail because I want you guys to go give it a read. Just be prepared for a story that completely deviates from the Twilight we've all come to love. The only things that stay relatively the same are the names of the characters and Bella's slightly canon personality. Everything else is so different that its sure to throw you for a loop.

~Keelhaulrose~

'There Will Be Blood' is beautifully written, I doubt there will be any question about that. This story is publish-worthy when it comes to the quality of the spelling and grammar. And when you factor in the plot and the character development? As the stereotypical Italians say, 'fughettaboutit'. This is one of the best stories you will find on the net.

The story dives deep into a word of mob rule, so deep you wonder if the writer has Tony Soprano as a relative. It is a tantalizing read, that when I don't have a due date, I will most definitely be re-reading because I do think that the story is superb.

However, as a fanfiction, this story does not pass my three-paragraph test. Don't get me wrong, I have read dozens of stories out there where the Cullens are human, I have no problem with that. However, this story claims to be a Twilight fanfiction, but except for the names and the Quileutes as the cops (read: good guys) and the Cullens as the mobsters (read: bad guys) and a Bella that leans sort of towards in-character, this is no Twilight fanfiction. As much as I hate to write one bad word about such a beautiful story, I think that there should be fair warning out there to anyone who may decide to read this on our recommendations. Let me put it this way and be done with it, Carlisle Cullen, the sweet, gentle, never hurt a fly vampire Twilight fans have come to adore, as a ruthless mob boss. That is all.

All said and done, I would highly advise anyone who loves a good story to go and give this one a look-see. It is a crime drama, and since it deals with the mob it's not a happy-go-lucky crime drama. But that being said, as a crime junkie, this is a wonderful work of fiction. However, as a fan of fanfiction, I would rather have the author change the names, put this on Fiction Press, and try to get it published.

~Michelle Amethyst~

So, I was completely naughty when reading this story. I skipped around a bit to see if it was worth the read before actually devoting any real time to it. And it was. I quickly realized that 'There will be Blood' is unlike anything I've ever read of the All Human variety. Edward's ruthlessnes... well... who wouldn't be captivated by a man with enough gall to describe himself in the following manner while sitting in the midst of Sunday service?

"I was more like Great Grandpa Cullen. Ruthless. Menacing. Violent...I had never missed a Sunday of church but that was only because of Esme. I would love to sleep in or go work out during the hour of eight o'clock mass but she wouldn't hear of it. Whatever my mother wanted, she got. She was the sweetest woman on this planet, living in a word ruled by men who dominated chaos. She was also the only woman I ever loved and probably the only woman I would ever love.

I didn't do love. That was for pussy whipped suckers who had nothing better to do. I didn't do relationships either. Never did, never will. "

That was where it started for me. That's where I got sucked into the Cullen crime family drama. From that point on, I only grew more addicted to the characters that developed. My dark and twisted side loves a good amount of ruthlessness and blood in my stories, so this one definitely fit the bill.

After reading the story, I have no qualms with recommending it to all of you out there looking for something fresh... or just a taste of Darkward. However, I do want to advise you to be sure you have a solid five or six hours to dedicate to it before opening the first chapter since you won't want to stop once you start.

 

The Worst Line Ever by givemesomevamp

Summary: Every great love story starts somewhere...even the fubar'd ones. A/U

Yeah. That's the entire summary. 

Admit it. Your intrigued.

Heck, I was too. When this story alert popped into my inbox wayyy back in May, my first thoughts centered somewhere around 'be a bit vague why don't you'.. However, sometimes less is more. By saying absolutely nothing in regards to the true content of the story, it caught my interest. Of course, the fact that the listed pairing just so happened to be Peter/Bella also held quite a bit of weight in the decision to explore further. 

I love me some Peter/Bella.

So, there I go..clicking away at that link while I hoped for the best, but expected something more along the lines of mediocre. Though that is a shameful thing to admit since givemesomevamp doesn't seem to do mediocre. At all.

I was hooked at the first sentence.

Who wouldn't be when the right out of the box, the author opens with, "So a vampire walks into a bar…. Now, I know what you're thinkin' - Is this the joke that ends with the gorilla and the priest gettin' it on in the men's room? To that I'd have to answer, "Hell no, you nasty fucker." This is the story of my path to my true mate."

And that, my dear readers, is only the beginning. At only six chapters in, the story is wonderfully written even though the time between updates is a bit lengthy. It starts out present day in a bar where Peter is attempting to woo the object of his desire via cheesy pick-up line.

It's a classic setting we can all relate too because, well, we've all been there once or twice. I give the author major props for making the meeting a realistic scenario. I hate when they meet somewhere entirely unlikely or just flat-out strange. It's one of the things that made me enjoy this story so much.

Then after Peter utters his line, we're suddenly thrust back 19 years into the past where we learn a bit about our main vamp and his personality. From there, we learn why he parts ways with Charlotte as well as a bit about his rather awkward sort of friendship with his brothers mate, the "evil sprite", Alice. 

As soon as we've been caught up on just what lead him to be in the bar, we actually find out why a vampire is attempting to pick-up a human.

The answer? A small wager.

The stakes?  Well, they go something like this:

"Simple. If you fail or bail, you get to be Alice's bag boy for forty-eight hours of her choosing." Simple, my ass. This fucker was tryin' to kill me and get out of gopher duty all at the same time. Damn, I hoped Tink hadn't given him some help on the outcome here.

"Fine. But if I win, no sex for a week, and that includes self-lovin'." I smirked as we shook on it. This would be like takin' eggs from a hen. Although, when his smirk expanded to a toothy grin, I got a little worried."

So, yeah... with stakes like those... I'm not going to go into any more detail because, well, that would totally ruin the absolute hilarity that ensues. Just be sure not to eat and/or drink anything while reading this story because insane bouts of laughter are a given. 

Oh... and be sure to keep a spare set of panties within arms reach. You'll need them once the sexxy time commences.

~dNd~

Where the Wicked Come to Play...

 If you're here then that must mean that you crave a blog that offers reviews and/or insight into stories from more than just one fandom or one main pairing. Well... you have definitely found the right place.

On this blog, we will explore a bit of everything. If dark, naughty, and dirty is your thing- well- we can do you that. If slash gets your motor revvin... well we can definitely do you a bit of that. If your more of the fluff, humor, and love sort we can do you that as well. We can even do you blood and gore if that fits your fancy.

We love it all.

No matter whether its from Twilight, Harry Potter, Criminal Minds, Lord of the Rings, Percy Jackson, Buffy, or something else entirely- We Goddesses will read it as long as it has a decent plot.

We enjoy stories from all across the fandom; Therefore, we created seven daily segments for your enjoyment:

• On Cheer-Up Monday one of our members will rec a story that has a healthy side of humor to help rid you of those beginning of the week blues.
  
  
• Twilight Tuesday brings about a group rec. The four Goddesses read and review a story (any pairing) from the Twilight fandom.
  
  
• On Sensual Wednesday another member will review the best, smuttiest fic (any fandom/any pairing) on their favorites list.
  
  
• Harry Potter Thursday is another group rec. The four Goddesses will read and review a story (any pairing) from the Harry Potter fandom.
  
  
• Crossover Friday is where a member will rec the best crossover (any fandoms/any pairing) on their favorites list.
  
  
• On Sister-Site Saturday one of the Goddesses will rec a story from a fanfiction archive other than Fanfiction.net. (see FanFiction Archives Page for detailed site listings)
  
  
• Inspirational Sundays is where us Goddesses will let you, our fans, know what sort of music, pictures, or quotes have inspired us to write over the past week.
  

Once a month, we will also host special segments including:

• An Author of the Month Interview where we get down and dirty with some of the best Authors in the fandom.
  
  
• A Fluff of the Month award where Goddess Michelle Amethyst will feature a story she feels has the most outstanding and well written fluff.

So... all that's left to say is that we hope you enjoy what this blog will bring in the future. Official posting begins tomorrow, December 13,2010.

~The Wicked Goddesses will likely post content that is of the Mature variety. This blog is for the enjoyment of adults only. Once you turn 18, you can read and become as wicked as we are.~